Foreshadowing

Foreshadowing - the act of providing vague advance indications; representing beforehand.

Or

Tragic Irony?

Broken Buttons

We interrupt this program for a special bulletin.
Fans have brought it to our attention that the link buttons have stopped working.

The code has been rewritten, and they are now functional. But to regain linking, you will need to recopy the 'new code' and paste it on your site.

Sorry for the inconvenience.
Just click the link below to go to the buttons page.
Thanks,
JD

Want a button for your Blog?
Click here:

Hottest day of the year

Yesterday was the hottest day of the year, so far. It's early in the summer though... it's only going to get worse before it gets better. It was 109 yesterday...the record for that day here in Arizona was 119.

This is what happened last time we hit that temperature:

Face value

This may look like an attempt at contemporary art. But a closer look reveals what strategic lighting adds to this seemingly simple display.

Dinner and a Movie? Or Movie in a Dinner?

Isn't Wall-e a little garbage truck? Think about that while you eat...Yummmy!

Photo Op

Sometimes the photo you take...Is not a good as the photo you create.
-JD Winters

My last Mac Post for now

June 18, 2009 2:35 PM

Sherrod and Sarah Martin said...

Traitor. From Sherrod. The VERIZON employee. BAHHHH.

June 19, 2009 11:55 PM

Sherrod and Sarah Martin said...

I second that. From Sarah. The other VERIZON employee.

This subject has gone on long enough... But my cousins left some amusing comments that inspired a new post

...Cadi (my wife) is less than happy about leaving what she referred to as "Eden" (Verizon's...fairly trouble free network with up to par customer service in most cases).

She said that because I switched over to "Apple" that I have voided our contract with "Eden" and now we both must leave.

She's upset about this for now...But it will all work out in the end.

(thanks for that perspective Cadi!)
-JD

Mi Morning

I thought I'd share my experience with attaining an iPhone this morning. As usual, I was entertained by the iDiocy. (get it?)

AT&T carries the iPhone, but you can also get it at the Mac Store. They will even activate it for you. As I drove to the Mac Store to pick up the iPhone I had reserved online, I wasn't sure what to expect as I remember the wacky line drama from previous releases. As I approached the Biltmore area, (closest store to my work) I noticed an AT&T store with people sleeping on the porch with sleeping bags and chairs, and a line of about 30 people eagerly awaiting the opening. Which left me wondering what was in store at the Mac Store. I wasn't interested in a mess, and I didn't want to converse with anyone that had actually slept there all night.

At about 7:00 am I arrived at the Biltmore and thought I should get a Juice and a muffin from Paradise bakery, just in case there was an hour long wait...any longer and I wouldn't have been interested in waiting.

Muffin and Juice in hand I turned the corner to see a crowd waiting. Maybe 100 people or so. Just as I started to turn around to get back in the car, one of the workers stopped me and said "Are you here for the iPhone?"
"Yes"
"She said the line starts way back there... Unless you pre-ordered."
"I did pre-order" I said.

She said "Oh, lets find you name on the list then and send you right in..."
So in 2 minutes I was in the store, with a warm muffin in my hand and a juice I hadn't even touched yet.

They brought me my phone and I completed the purchase, then they offered to have another worker activate it for me and move my phone number over. They said it would only take a few minutes. So I aggreed.

Mind you...everyone so far, has been the squeeky clean folks I mentioned in my previous post. The activator guy on the other hand...fit the homless category. He had dreadlocks pulled back into a pony tail and a scruffy beard. Very nice guy though.

I set my purchased iPhone, still in the box, on the counter. The iWorker guy...clasped both hands together and just stared at the box. ...after a moment or so I looked at him. He had glossy eyes and a cheesy grin on his face, as though I had just pulled a puppy out of my pocket or something. He said "Do you...want to do the honors?" ...I said "What?" "Would you like to open the box for the first time? Some people consider this a special event." he replied.

I didn't know exactly how to respond to that...I just looked around to see if anyone heard him say such a fruity thing. After a moment, I said "No, you go ahead, I think you'll enjoy it more than me."

By 7:20 am I was on my way. Pretty harmless, I've waited in line longer at Mc Donalds. My only regret is that I didn't stop by AT&T on my way back to work, and take a picture of the dorks on the porch with my new iPhone 3Gs. It must have been a rough night for those morons.

Macnophobia... Worse than the Swine Flu

I have a confession...two actually.

I love technology.

I hate cotton headed ninny-muggins.

Today I am faced with a dilemma. A powerful piece of technological goodness is set to hit the market tomorrow morning, called the iPhone 3Gs. This fine device is equipped with everything I find great in a handheld device. It has a list a mile long of fancy doodads, including GPS, Music, Video, Internet, MMS, Camera, Voice Recognition.... ... this is just the beginning. The applications this rectangular hockey puck can download make my job go so much easier. (I have been using it’s little brother the Ipod Touch for almost a year now.) There are conversion tools and calculators that I haven’t been able to find elsewhere.

I really haven’t scratched the surface on just how fantastic I think this device is. I am very excited about it’s release. ...But.

As there must be an opposition in all things... Here too I am plagued by a problem with the Iphone. The manufacturer has placed an icon of an apple with a bite out of it on the back of this device. By so doing, they have summoned all the douche bags from all the land, to surround the only retail establishments that will house this treasure. You see, this symbol is the international sign for cotton headed ninny-muggins. You’ll know when you see one on the street. Often times they have some or all of the following traits:

-If they are wearing glasses, they will always be, thick, dark framed. Often rectangular in shape

-They either have an especially clean appearance, or they look homeless. There is no middle ground.

-If they don’t actually work at the Mac store, they might be wearing cargo shorts.

-They drive either a Volkswagen Golf or a Subaru. (often or always with a white silhouette of a half eaten apple pasted to the back window.)

-Might be mistaken for being gay...or quite likely, there is no mistake at all.

-These people have very skinny arms and hands. Even if their body is overweight.

-They are usually not an actual designer, or have any practical use for a Mac.

You probably wouldn’t notice these people in public whipping out their iPhone every 10 minutes to take a call. In fact, they likely call themselves once a day from a landline to be sure there isn’t a problem with their phone, or to try out their new ringtone. If their iPhone rings in public, chances are high, that it was a wrong number.

A convergence of these flaccid individuals that has occurred twice historically, will be occurring once again on Friday, June 19, 2009. (The iPhone 3Gs release date).

...For the first time ever...I will be seeking the same treasure they seek. I am on the pre-order list for the iPhone.

I have been going through this routine over and over in my head, on how I might be able to avoid eye contact with these people. How I might avoid casual conversation from these career line-waiters. I do not know if their disorder is contagious. But I do not want to be like them, or be mistaken for one of their affiliates. So I have devised a few plans on how I can attain my iPhone without having to interact with the monkeys. I will list them below:

-I have high hopes, that the iPhone will ‘sell out’ to walk-in buyers by about noon. So I can walk into the store, and grab my designated one and get the hell out of there. I have timed myself, I can hold my breath for exactly 74 seconds. Which leaves me about a minute and a half short of what it should take to complete the transaction. I can either step outside and take a fresh breath, or wear a mask and act like I am concerned about the Swine Flu.

-As another option, I could wear a disguise. Kind of like when that guy in “The Mummy”, acted like one of the zombies and went with the mob, they seemed to leave him alone. ...Which begs the question, do I wear a costume like the one I described above, to blend in? Or do I wear one to mess with their emotions? Nothing would make me happier than to pop their red balloon. ...I mean, I could dress just like the guy that used to beat them up in high school (letterman jacket, cool hair, etc.) I am positive that a costume like this would not only make them avoid me, but it would likely cause them to feel awkwardly uncomfortable on a level they haven’t felt in a long time. It might even score me a place in line at the front. I might even take their lunch money and a copy of their homework just for effect... so they know I mean business.

-I could make a giant iPhone costume, and wear that down there. (I am really excited about this one). I could hand out giant foam fingers, that have a giant foam iPhone in them. My enthusiasm would rob them of any dignity they might assume they have. They would quickly realize the level of uncoolness they have when they see that costume. They would be embarrassed for me. If I could get through to just one of them... If just one would think, even for a moment ...”This is wierd...what am I doing here?” ...then my efforts will not be in vain.

Those last 2 options would only help entertain and distract me while waiting for my phone. Kind of like the medical diagrams on the wall of the doctors office do when you have to get a shot.

Anyway, my hopes are that this will clear up any confusion my close friends might feel when they see me with this device in hand. I will likely either cover the ‘apple’ with a decal, or put a decal of a cartoon worm in it. Anything to make it known that I do not embrace the culture that worships the half eaten apple. Mark my words I WILL NOT CONVERT. I am only tasting the sweet nectar of the technology.

I am typing this from a MacBook Pro that I inherited from my boss. I make it known to all around me that I love the sleek look of the computer, but could do without the radio-active icon on the cover. I run Windows XP on this machine, and use it more than OSX.

For almost 10 years, my good friend Pete, and my brother-in-law Greg have been trying to get me to convert. I know that Pete loves the technology, but can share my distain for the culture. Greg on the other hand...I can’t help but think if he was 20 years younger, that he would be getting some new glasses and be shopping for a VW. I’ve battled with him about this for a long time...and he got a chuckle out of the fact I finally ordered the iPhone. Make no mistake Greg. I will use the technology, but I will be sure to use it as a blogging device to expose this bizarre culture for what it is... i’ll be using your own technology against you... Just wait.

Your Clinical Macaphobic Cool Guy,

-JD

Another crafty project from the Archive

Here is the first Transformer costume I made. I didn't document it as well as the Blackout Transformer Costume. But here it is anyway.

This video just reached 300,000 hits on YouTube by the way! ...well on my way to YouTube viral stardom!

Armored Vehicle

This early attempt at an armored vehicle proved to be flawed. Some of the details the designers missed, proved to be pretty important.

a.) A bicycle drive system can only be pedaled forward. So this could be driven directly into battle, but not back out. Once you ran out of ammunition, you were as they say... a sitting duck.

b.) The only way back out of the battle area is to turn around. The failure to add rear and side armaments proved to be a crucial oversight.

c.) Bicycle tires tend to pop when you ride on anything other than a paved road. A battleground is hardly free of debris.

d.) The soldiers uniform was more suited for a 'spot of tea', than a barrage of flying bullets.

e.) Although not designed for lethal combat...I am thinking this design would be awesome if fitted with a paintball gun and if you had 2 or more of them... Kind of like Paintball Polo or something. Who's with me??!

Why didn't I think of that!?

I don't know about this whole Iphone and Nintendo Wii craze... But I was afraid of these selling out. So I ordered a dozen for me and my closest friends. I don't know about you guys, but I'm all about "maintaining my dignity". I won't be left behind as this technological advance makes it's way into mainstream restrooms. Anyone interested in purchasing one of these when they sell out, let me know, I'll be selling a few of them at a premium. These can be valuable bartering tools during a recession.

Oh, man, I can't wait till they get here!

(to answer your question before you ask... yes this is real, this isn't a Saturday Night Live skit or anything.... This thing is for real!)

Stand for something...passionately

One of my favorites...

Chain Reaction*

-In 20 years these parents will be living in a freezer, and the child will be in his 20's rocking in the corner and sucking his thumb in the fetal position.

-The photographer gouged his eyes out after this photoshoot, and has been mumbling nonsense ever since.

-The studio was unable to properly restored after this sitting. It had to be burned to the ground and then rebuilt at another site. Other photographers said it just felt 'creepy' after these people left.

...It's just thoughtless and rude to do this kind of stuff. The consequences are staggering.

*This post was not intended to offend my Disney fanatical sister, Brittany. Also, Britt, your comments are welcome, as I am sure your approval of the piece of work pictured above, will only add more humor to my post.

Ah, what a romantic photo...

(Disregard the drowning tour guide.)

06/2009 Weekend Project

It was our family reunion this weekend. We went to my grandparent's cabin and once I get with my uncles and brothers...its on.
We built 2 treehouses to pass the time. This is our first afternoon's work. Pictures of the finished product coming soon.
This was shot from a bad angle, but it's the only place that I could keep sawdust out of my equipment. I started a few minutes late, so the foundation had already been laid. The video shows very little of the construction process in detail unfortunately (which is unlike my other 'construction videos'.) But it's still fun to watch.

Apology only accepted if properly submitted

Here is a form that I hope someone might be able to use. It might be helpful at times when you aren't sure exactly how to say you are sorry.

Efficiency

Have you ever been told, "Only take what you are going to eat."? What if we applied that to every part of our lives?

Beds might looks something like this: