Thursday, April 30, 2009

Stupid half full glass...

I was pondering something the other day. I had heard about this baseball pitcher that "threw a perfect game". Which basically means, they pitched 9 innings, without a single person hitting one of their pitches. This is a very rare event, and takes a great deal of skill. An event like this is quite praiseworthy. This is a good thing! ...Now, if a pitcher was to "throw a game", that event has an entirely different meaning. This means that they purposely lost the game for their team.

Which brings me to the subject of "Tickets"...good or bad?

Today, I went to take advantage of an employee benefits program here at work. Even though technically I am a contractor, we get discounted event ticket rates. So I went to the employee programs department downtown to buy "Tickets" for my family to go to Disneyland in a couple of weeks.

This is where the interesting events unfolded that inspired today's post.

Parking was scarce, I had to climb to the 9th floor of the parking garage to find an empty space. I took my "Ticket" in for validation, so I could get out of the parking lot at no cost. After the first elevator failed to make it all the way to the 9th floor...I found myself making my way to the less convenient elevator at the opposite end of the rooftop. I made my way to ground level and walked to the adjacent building, where after numerous security checks to verify that I was indeed who I said I was. I was then allowed to speak to another security guard who assigned me a 'guest pass' to go to the 4th floor. After an efficient trip up to the 4th floor I acquired these fantastic goodies, for pennies less cost than what I could have bought a new plasma TV with.

Happy with my recent purchase I took these valuable little diddies down to the ground level where I gave the guest pass back to the anorexic security guard. I then reached in my shirt pocket for my parking "Ticket" so I could have them validate it. ...after checking all of my pockets twice... I held both hands to my chest pockets and twisted back and forth from the hip while looking at the ground around my feet. (The international sign for "Oh $#!%, I lost my {blank} " ...this could be an ID, Passport, concert ticket, etc.). Then a glance up at the security guards let me know, they've seen that move before. Without saying a word, the thin lady in her 60's wearing the badge responded to my dance with "You have to have the ticket for validation, or you'll have to pay the $40 LOST "TICKET" fee."

I was shocked... How in a blink of an eye, could my wonderful little 'free parking ticket go from a good thing, to a bad thing!? It was still a ticket, all that was different was that it was missing. I could validate its existence only by the fact that my car was now trapped behind a striped 2x4 mechanical arm... "I had to take a ticket to get in here... you can verify I have only been here for 5 minutes... Can't you call security at the garage and tell them to just 'let me out'?"
"No, you must have a ticket to get out, or p
ay the fees." she replied.

So, I reclaimed the guest pass and held my hand up in the stop position for the guard wearing the rubber gloves. I walked around him and toward the elevator in the office building to retrace my steps. I pushed the single button surrounded by 2 rows of 4 elevators...and waited. "Bing" a light came on... but it was over a different elevator than I originally took. I had to take the same elevator to accurately retrace my steps. What if I dropped it IN the elevator? By only the 3rd button push, the correct elevator was summoned, and my luck was already improving. I could have waited for all 8, or worse, hit the button and have a repeated one show up again.

After checking the floor and verifying it was clean, I shot up to the 4th floor and looked through the glass door to the office I had just been in. No luck. I saw no ticket.

I made my way back down, and ran across the courtyard to the parking garage, where I waited for the correct elevator again. After a leisurely ride to the 9th floor. I then ran across the parking garage rooftop, only to find this little gem right by my truck.

Filled with joy I picked up my valuable ticket (back to being a GOOD ticket), and made my way back down 9 floors, so I could go across the courtyard and receive my validation. I even received a few congratulatory comments from people in the lobby that had watched my entire ordeal. I made my way back over to the parking garage, and up to the 9th floor again, only to drive back down to ground level. Fortunately, my validation was accepted, and I didn't have to test to see if the truck I was in was capable of knocking that striped stick out of my way.

I was done.

Now, if I can only make it to California and back, with 4 kids, in May, and still think of my Disneyland tickets on a positive note, I'll be good. The warmer it gets outside, the more likely these "tickets" are going to become the bad kind.

(By the way... I do apologize for the long winded discourse. I will try to be more illustrative through creative pictures on later posts. This was one where my creative storytelling skills came in handy, because of the plethora of minuscule events begging for enthusiastic recollection. I hope this was as entertaining for you as it was frustrating for me. Therapeutically, the anticipated ability for me to tell this story here, eased the frustration during and after the event. It was quite nice...Right when my first instinct was to grab the skinny guard and run him through the validation machine was it's strongest...I stayed calm with the thought "This is going to be a good thing to blog about." Yes, I've been bitten by the Blug. )

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Teenage Mutant Ninja Vegetables

I found this picture and it reminded me of a fruit that my girls found while preparing dinner with mom.

We all know what to do if a pepper burns our mouth... But what do you do if your pepper HAS a mouth?


This strawberry, looks like it had a few too many shortcakes. (we ate this fine beast for dinner last night...seriously.) It moved surprisingly slow so it was easy to catch, for a mutated fruit. It gave me a warm feeling inside thinking about whatever chemical helped inspire it's growth was now residing within the bellies of me and my family. But with a few Tums, it went away pretty quick.

Jar of Buttons

Ok, it has been requested by the lovely Beth Ann Sands, so here it is. I do have to say... This would not have been possible if it weren't for my good pal, Danny Dean. He is quite the designer and is apparently crazy with coding.


Instructions for use:
Copy the code from the button you would like to display on your blog or website. The very last button on this page, is coded to randomly choose one of these buttons to display. So choose that one if you want to mix things up a little bit and keep your audience entertained with new images every time they visit your site. Some of the buttons have a 'transparent' background, so use these buttons if you would like your color or background pattern to show.

addraw







addraw







addraw







addraw







addraw







the random image







More Perfecter...


Before there were Snuggie's... there was the Suffocatie. The flaw in the design was that they had to be nitted in place. Therfore you could not get out of the Suffocatie when you wanted to. The test subject pictured here, successfully emerged from this Suffocatie 3 days later as butterfly.








Before we had cell phones we had what was called a 'Phone Booth'. These tiny rooms offered little privacy and were often mistaken for toilets. The little boy in this picture (Martin Cooper) took matters into his own hands many years later and did away with phone booths. It was later discovered, that people didn't need a small room for 'privacy' while on the phone, and that they could quite comfortably carry a conversation with an invisible probe in their ear.

Ironically, they appear as though they are having conversations with themselves... Much like the individuals that used to live in or near phone booths downtown.


Before MySpace and Facebook, we would have conversations face to face. Instead of through a slow series of sentences in multiple conversations at once. By only being recognizable as a headshot or profile picture... We as a society decided that 'virtually' it only matters what's going on from the neck up. Everything else...Just doesn't matter.

This is a picture of Brad Pitt and Hugh Jackman at a spa in L.A. ...If they didn't have the hair dryers on their head, you would recognize them from their MySpace page.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Of Course...


As nothing funny came to mind to post today... I figured I would post just a normal picture.

So here is a picture of Nancy Regan telling Mr. T what she wants for Christmas.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Bringing it together...

My good buddy, Brian from my art school days, sent me this link... It can only be described as, 'Brilliant'.

Note: be sure to read the first page... so you understand what is going on.

http://www.thru-you.com/#

It's one thing to create music from scratch, but to be able to create music, from several people, that aren't even playing the same genre of music... that's just wacky!

Excuse me, say again

Hearing Aid technology has come a long way.
(makes you wonder what the early rectal thermometers looked like)

Friday, April 24, 2009

Bad Choices


Sometimes we make bad choices in our lives. Many times we wish we could go back, and redo what we may have done wrong.


One thing is certain in this picture, this guy is regretting getting his picture taken while wearing that sweater.

Physics


When swimming for speed, always wear a speedo to reduce drag. Many swimmers shave thier entire body because even hair can slow you down. Take a look at this moron. How does he ever plan on winning a race with all that facial hair?

Wanted to buy...

If anyone has one of these for sale, please contact me.
Thanks,
JD


ADDraw?

I will attempt to update this space with any clever images, tag lines, videos, etc... Anything that intrigues me...Or I think will interest other people.
This collection of images will consist of items either created or captured by me... Or ones I have captured here on my internet machine.



A.D.D. Raw:
The purpose of this blog, is only to serve as an outlet for me to release creative thoughts, sketches and ideas. You should keep in mind while viewing that there will be chaos ahead. The subject matter will likely shift and randomize...while at other times... some consistency might be witnessed. This lack of focus I will attribute to a disorder known as Attention Deficit Dissor.... Hey look, a squirrel!


My friends have deemed my thougths, 'mildly entertaining' at times. So it is my hope, that this effort brings a smile to someone's face.